


Sam Winchester and Magic

by AllisonMikaelson



Series: Witch Sam and Samwena [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: This is Bad, Witch Sam Winchester, and i need to go to sleep, but his best friend/crush is a witch who encourages him to use magic so..., he's scared of being less normal, i kind of thought of it with romantic undertones but there's nothing to make that clear, i'm really tired, sam winchester does magic, sam winchester is rowena's protege, sam winchester is scared to be anything other than human, this could be taken romantic or platonic idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:35:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21883090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllisonMikaelson/pseuds/AllisonMikaelson
Summary: Sam's relationship with magic, starring Rowena.I don't know how to summarize this, if you can't tell.
Relationships: Rowena MacLeod & Sam Winchester, Rowena MacLeod/Sam Winchester
Series: Witch Sam and Samwena [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1606045
Comments: 1
Kudos: 31





	Sam Winchester and Magic

**Author's Note:**

> i did not know what to name this. Also this is bad because it's really late and I had to transfer the story from paper to phone to computer and it was just a whole big complicated thing so there's that.  
> There are some changes in the stuff that happened in episodes like the fact that the witch ladies never come to rowena's place, but I don't think it's too big a deal.  
> Hope you enjoy!

The first time Rowena offers to teach Sam magic,it’s when she learns of a spell to negate certain effects of trauma, such as nightmares. Sam quickly turns it down, too scared of ever being more of a supernatural freak than he already is and always has been. He’s already the ex-demon-blood addict vessel of Lucifer. He doesn’t need to make himself even more different. He doesn’t need to make Dean and other hunters more wary and hateful of him than they already are. So he says no. Weirdly enough, his nightmares do start to decrease after their talk.  
…

The second time Rowena asks, it’s after a hunt. He and Dean took down some vamps, but they did get injured in the process. Nothing too bad, but Sam did get thrown against a wall. Luckily there was n bleeding, but his back and shoulder hurt pretty bad. Rowena was at the bunker while they were out, and she’s there waiting for them when they return. 

“You know,” Rowena starts, “there are a lot of spells in existence. If you were to start practicing, and you certainly have the potential, that hunt would’ve likely been much easier. There are plenty of fighting spells. There are also spells for protection and healing. Don’t tell me that wouldn’t be helpful.”

“I’m not saying that,” Sam says. “It would help. But I’m a hunter, Rowena. I can’t practice magic.

“Okay,” Rowena says. She sounds like she still wants to argue, like she doesn’t agree with him even a little bit. But she doesn’t say anything else about it. Admittedly, though, Sam does think of what she said. Every time one of them get hurt on a hunt, he can’t help thinking about how much easier it could be.

But then, every time, he reminds himself that he thought the same thing about the demon blood once upon a time. And it was easier, but wasn’t okay. It made him something bad, something his own brother wanted to hurt, and he can’t risk that happening again.

So he tries to keep himself from thinking about it too much, always reminding himself of how bad he was, of how bad he could be again.

…

The third time Rowena brings it up, she’s sitting on a chair in his room, looking at a grimoire. “You know, there are quite a few spells that I could use a partner for? Would you be willing to help?” 

It’s pretty clear that while she’s hopeful, she isn’t really expecting a yes. Sam wants to say yes, really. No matter how hard he tries,his mind keeps going back to how much it could help. Rowena could teach him, and he certainly wouldn’t mind spending more time with the red-headed witch. He’s starting to think he may even be able to use it without doing anything bad. But Dean would never understand, and he can’t have Dean hating him. He says no, and Rowena just tries.

…

The first time Sam actually takes up Rowena’s offer, they’re on a hunt. Rowena comes along because she was nearby and Dean was busy. Funy enough, it’s a witch case. When a witch uses a spell to put the whole town under her control, Rowena claims to be unable to do the spell on her own. She says that she needs three witches to break the spell. She says that she doesn’t know any witches to call and she doesn’t think she can do it on her own. She tells Sam that it could work with two very powerful witches. It may not, but it’s worth a try. Sam argues at first, says that Rowena must know some other witches and that he’s not even a witch, let alone a powerful one.

Rowena argues back without hesitance, reminding Sam of his potential like she has a hundred times before. And Sam wants to say no, still so, so scared, but he agrees. It’s just one spell, and there’s a whole town of people that it can save. They join hands and perform the spell, and Sam tries to ignore how naturally it comes to him. 

…

After that, Sam doesn’t use spells very often at all. He only does spells when it’s really necessary. For the most part, though, he stays away from magic. He certainly doesn’t let Dean see it. He can’t have Dean thinking of him as a monster again, no matter how good doing magic makes him feel.

…

“Dibs on Samuel,” Rowena says as the world is ending, and Sam looks at her like she’s crazy. “You’re the closest thing to a seasoned witch we’ve got,” she says, and Sam is immediately worried about what Dean will say. The world is ending, and Sam knows that this spell is important, but he can’t help still worrying about what Dean will think. He will never be able to deal with Dean hating him. Except Dean doesn’t say anything other than okay before going off to do his part. So Sam agrees. 

They join hands, and Sam says the spell as Rowena says it, feeling the power surge through him in that nice, familiar way that he tries to keep himself from loving. He reminds himself that this is a one time thing, that he can’t get use to the warmth magic fills him with. 

…

Rowena is dead. Rowena is dead, and Sam was the one who killed him. He knew before that it was her fate, but as he had grown closer to her, he had kind of just assumed she would live forever. It wouldn’t be the first time they had defied fate. Except, apparently, fate was still very much in control of him. Sure, Rowena told him to kill her, but it doesn’t change that she’s dead. She’s dead, and Sam doesn’t know what to do with that.

He dreams of her death every night for a week, in both the way it actually happened and many other ways his mind dreams up. He really wishes that he had taken her up on the nightmare spell when she had offered.

…

As horrible as the situation is, some part of Sam can’t help being grateful that something is finally motivating him to go to Rowena’s place. He’s been wanting to, but he just knew that it would be painful. Now, he doesn’t have much of a choice. 

He’s not expecting to find the spell to actually bring someone back, but he couldn’t be more happy when he does. He’s still unsure about if he should do magic, but Dean was okay with using magic to put Eileen in a crystal, and Sam is pretty sure he could do the spell. 

He’s looking through her journals, surprised she even bothered to write everything down, when he finds a folded paper in the front of one of them. It says his name on the front, so he opens it. 

‘Dear Samuel,  
If you’re reading this, it’s very likely I’m dead. Which kind of sucks. But that’s not the point of this letter. Pretty much ever since I started practicing witchcraft, I’ve written down the spells I’ve used and created. Originally, I just wanted to have a document to remind me if I was to forget. After meeting you, though, Samuel, I realized that there could be a much better use for them. I know that you say you won’t ever practice magic, and that’s your choice. But in case you ever change your mind, I’m leaving all of my possessions to you. I’ve spelled this room. Only you and I are able to enter. If I’m dead, it’s now only you. I hope that you begin using magic. You could be the most amazing witch in a long, long time. Excluding me, of course.  
Sincerely,  
Rowena MacLeod’

Sam feels a tear running down his face as he finishes reading it. Thinking about her death is already bad enough. Even if she didn’t talk much about her actual death in the note, it’s still too much. Regardless, he wipes the tear from his face and takes a breath. He shuts the book, looking over at Eileen. He tells her that they should go. He brings the spell for bringing someone back, but he leaves the rest. He will get it later, but he doesn’t have time right now. The focus is on Eileen right now. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever regularly practice witchcraft, but he does want to at least keep her things safe.

When he does the spell, he’s not entirely sure it’ll work. He’s done big spells before, and he knows that he can, but he’s never written a spell. He isn’t writing this one entirely, either. He’s using Rowena’s blueprints; he just has to finish it. He’s still not sure it’s going to work, even as he says the words. There is something nice about it, though. Even if it doesn’t work, using magic makes Sam feel closer to Rowena, somehow.

He’s still not expecting it to work as he mirrors Eileen in bringing his hand to meet hers. When their hands make contact and Sam realizes he can feel her, he takes a deep breath of relief and happiness. He hugs Eileen immediately, incredibly happy that she’s back regardless of his current mentality surrounding Rowena. 

The closeness the magic makes Sam feel for Rowena encourages him to use it more. It’s the only way he really has to feel close to her, and she always wanted him to use it. Besides, Dean’s been more relaxed about magic lately anyway, and it’s not like he’s using it to hurt anyone. 

But he does start practicing. He brings all of Rowena’s books to the bunker. He practices a lot more than before. He’s already pretty good at doing magic without practice, and Rowena always said that he could be an amazing witch if he just decided to do it. He learns her demon killing spell and a ton of other spells that help him on hunts. He learns some calming spells, and he can’t help thinking of her as his mind settles down. He doesn’t have her anymore, but by using her magic, he can feel closer to her. Besides, maybe one day, he’ll be able to make his own spell to bring her back.

…

“Hello, boys,” Rowena says after calling the demons off. Sam looks at her in shock, not even sure how to process the fact that she’s alive. It’s not like he hasn’t seen people come back before; it’s just that her death felt so final to him. He was grieving over her just yesterday, and now, here she is. He can barely believe it as joy fill shim at seeing her again. 

He doesn’t let himself react too much while everyone’s around. He’s not ashamed of how much he cares for her, but there’s a lot going on. They need to get Michael, and no matter how much he wants to talk to her, they don’t have time for distractions at the moment. Chuck can hurt more people by the minute. Just knowing that Rowena is alive is enough for the moment.

After they learn that Michael is not, in fact, in Hell, Dean and Castiel are ready to go find another plan. Sam tells them to go ahead and that he’ll catch up. Dean is hesitant at first, but Rowena assures Dean that she can send Sam back if nothing else. So Dean and Castiel leave.

When the two of them are gone, Sam isn’t sure what to do at first. He wanted alone time with Rowena, but he isn’t entirely sure what he wants to say. 

“I thought you were dead,” Sam says. “I thought I would never see you again.”

“I didn’t think I would ever see anyone again,” Rowena says. 

“I can’t explain how happy I am that you’re back,” Sam says honestly. Then, because he can’t stop thinking about it, he adds, “you left all of your stuff to me.”

“I’m aware,” Rowena says with a smile. “Couldn’t really think of anyone better to give it to. I assume you used magic to get you here, but have you done anything other than that?”

“Yeah,” Sam says with a sad laugh. “I brought my back my friend Eileen with the spell you designed for my mom. She was a ghost and we were going to trap her in one of your crystals so she wouldn’t have to go back to hell or go crazy, and I found the spell and all of your books. When I did the spell, it made me feel closer to you. So I started using more spells. I might even call myself a witch now.”

“What happened to not being able to be a witch and a hunter at the same time?” Rowena asks, but it’s only partially a serious question. She’s smiling, clearly happy with the fact that Sam has been doing magic.

“The world is ending. God is against us. Might as well have as many advantages as possible. And with all that, I think it might be time I stopped trying to be normal all the time.”

“Probably a good idea,” Rowena says. “So, will you help me with those spells I mentioned before?”

Sam nods without hesitation this time. “Will you help me learn more spells? It would be great to have such a powerful teacher.”

“I thought you’d never ask,” Rowena says with a big smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a like or comment!


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